It's been a long, long while...

Ok, I know it has been forever. You'll have to forgive me. Internet here is awful most days, and I was gone for a while.

Speaking of gone for a while, this "gone" included a trip to China King. While there, you'll never guess what I got. The craziest fortune cookie ever. Well, maybe it was just the craziest ever because it went hand in hand from the one from this post. Anyway, it said, "You will soon be crossing warm waters for a fun vacation." Seriously, when will these chinese people understand that Afghanistan is not a fun vacation?? UGH!

So, I just have 5 1/2 months left here in Afgangsterland. It seems like so so long, but looking back the first 6 months or so seemed to go by pretty quickly. While it was going on, it seemed to drag by but now that I think about it, it wasn't too bad. Or maybe it's because I'm just delirious. But I have calculated it, and it's like 11 or 12 more paychecks. I feel like if I count down my time in hell in paychecks, it's slightly more motivating than a month, day, hour, minute, second countdown. That's just depressing.


Ok, it's time for bed. I need to get on a normal sleep schedule. My brain is confused.

I don't even know where to begin...

"Sometimes we need to forget some people from our past, because of one simple reason: they just don't belong in our future."

After reading a hateful facebook comment about a month ago, I let it go, thinking maybe it was just my perception. But after the one I read tonight... wow.

If you're too lazy to delete me from your friends list, and you "don't particularly care for me," then why couldn't you be man enough to say something instead of being a spineless jerk? Go shave your face, you look like a cave man and it's no wonder you can't hold down a job. You stood up for me when your brother cheated on me, and now I'm nothing?  I ALWAYS stood up for you, and at some points, I was the only one you could turn to. I hope your girlfriend enjoys spending her life cleaning out the blood from your clothes from all the bar fights you get into for the rest of her life for her pill head boyfriend. You. Are. Worthless.

And to you, girlfriend. I thought you were the best thing that ever happened to above said Neanderthal. You stood by my side when I walked in on my ex husband cheating on me with that girl that looks like a cocker spaniel with downs. You hated him. You talked bad about him all the time, but now that he's in a war zone and he told you I cheated on him first, you're on his side? That's cool. Guess what, I'm in Afghanistan too, and I work 100 times harder than he does. It must be hard to sit inside an air conditioned building and continue to get fatter. Life is hard.

To the cocker spaniel with downs: you're almost not even worth mentioning. Thanks for coming up to me at my going away party and telling me to be safe, but you're lucky I didn't knock you out. I have never disliked someone more in my life than you and you're one of the few people that I could imagine hitting across the face with a baseball bat and feeling no remorse for it at all. Go to hell.

To the rest of his "friends" that used to pretend to be my friends. You're all fake. If you don't like me, then don't talk to me. Believe me, it would make my life much easier to not have to deal with your drama.

And to you, the one that this is all about: Stop telling people lies to make yourself look better. Keep going to the gym here and lose a bunch of weight so that when you get home and get fall down drunk again (hopefully this time you'll wreck that little cocker spaniel's car instead of mine) you can blow back up and be just as obese and unhealthy as you were before. You're going to get diabetes if you don't get your life under control. You're pathetic. No one falls in love by choice, it's by chance. No one stays in love by chance, it's by work. And no one falls out of love by chance, it's by choice. Thank you for being a great chance, for never working for our love, and making leaving your sorry ass the best choice I ever made. In 26 days, it marks one of the best things that ever happened to me, our divorce was finalized. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.



And to all my faithful readers that love me... sorry this was harsh. Had to vent. And if you don't love me and are reading this anyway, go away.

I know, it's been a while...

Sorry! I haven't been purposely neglecting my blog, I just either don't have anything I deem blog-worthy, or anything I can really talk about.

EXCEPT:

I have been seriously addicted to Pinterest for like the last week. It's really bad. I just see all these gorgeous things and realize that I can't do anything about 99% of them until I get out of this war-torn country. They don't understand DIY here for some reason. I've been wedding planning. And by planning, I mean pinning a ridiculous amount of ideas and how they could work. I have so many things that I WANT to do, I just don't know when I'll be able to start them all! I would post some pictures, but this is Afghanistan, and it takes forever.

So, to the few readers that I have. What do you all want me to write about?

One of THOSE days...

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to throw your hands up and crawl into bed and take a nap. Like maybe waking up an hour later could make everything better? That was my day today. It seemed like nothing I could do was right. Like everyone had a problem with what I was doing.

I got a fortune cookie one of my last nights in Oklahoma. Daniel and I went to eat chinese, because China King is probably one of our favorite places to go. We have this silly ritual when it comes to the cookie. He picks mine and gives it to me, and vice versa. Then after we're both completely finished with our cookie, we read our fortunes aloud to each other. I don't necessarily believe in what it says, but it's a fun ending to the meal. Anyway, mine said, "An enjoyable vacation is awaiting you near the mountains." Seriously, fortune cookie?! How does this happen?!

So here's what I don't understand. If this "vacation" is awaiting me, when does it become enjoyable? Don't get me wrong, I love what I do here (most of the time) and I enjoy most of the people I work with. But when does being away from your family, friends, pets and everything you love become enjoyable? I just want Taco Bell, is that so hard to ask??? And when is this going to be a vacation? I thought those included rest, spas, swimming, etc. I'm still waiting on a day off! I know, I know... I shouldn't complain. I chose this life. I knew what to expect, but still that fortune totally lied to me!

I seem to have this little itty bitty problem with being a smart aleck... For those of you that are laughing right now, you obviously know me too well. I honestly don't mean to do it. I don't even realize it's rude or mean until it's already out of my mouth. So, to try to fix this problem (believe me, it's a huge problem when you're lower enlisted) I try to think about what I want to say and say it in my head five times before it comes out of my mouth. Nine times out of ten, I don't say anything because either the moment has passed or it sounds bad even in my own head and it's just better left unsaid. But the one time I do say it, it's bad. Like the words missed the small filter that I do have up there. Like the words come spewing out of my mouth like vomit. Anyway, here's the next problem. I could wake up in the morning in the best mood ever, but somehow, something gets said about my attitude, my mouth, or whatever million other things people find wrong with me. It's like I've tried and tried to change, I'm trying to be a better person, I'm trying to be nice to everyone (even if I can hardly tolerate them) but sometimes, it's hard to make a change in your self, if the people around you do not give you the ability to change. Does that make any sense? How can I change and make people see that I'm trying, if they don't give me that chance.

I had a drill sergeant that always used to say that the Army doesn't pay him enough to make friends, and in some ways, he's absolutely right. But what kind of a life is that? If you go throughout your days here, with no friends or just a few, your life will get hard quick. I would have already gone crazy if I didn't have people to talk to. Sometimes, you need to vent. I was talking about one of our fallen soldiers the other day to a friend. If you google his name (don't act like you've never googled your own), the first picture is of him feeding homeless veterans. I don't even want to think what would come up if I googled my own name. Maybe something from college or even high school sports, maybe some of my facebook pictures. But feeding homeless veterans? Teaching children how to read? Volunteering at a hospital? You're not going to see any of that. I guess what I'm saying is that I want more than anything to be a better person. I've wanted this for quite some time. But isn't that what everyone wants? I don't know too many people who wake up in the morning and WANT to be a bad person. I just think being over here has given me more of a perspective. To think about the things that really matter in my life. To think about the person that I would want my future children to know, my family to know, my friends to know. They're the most important thing in my life and I want them to be proud of me.

Anyway, it's been a long day. It's time for me to get some sleep. If you have any input, comments, concerns, advice... please comment. I love comments.

Remember how I said...

Remember when I said that I love getting bridal magazines? Well, I got two in the mail from my future mother in law and I'm thinking of this awesome idea of what to do with them. Well, I think it sounds awesome in theory, I'm just not sure how it will turn out. 

I was thinking of cutting out my favorite ideas: flowers, centerpieces, attire, etc. and glueing them in a small, hardcover book that I have. Like a mini scrapbook of ideas. The lines in the book will give me a place to write my comments about what I think about each item. Kind of like my own little pintrest book to have with me.

Anyone have ideas of how I can make it super awesome?

MacBook 2, Laura 0

Technology has not been my friend today. I guess by technology, I mean my beloved MacBook. For whatever reason, my c.d. drive has not been working well since I got in country. It sounds like it's going to take off  flying around the room anytime I put in a dvd. Then it starts to play whatever it is that I want to watch, and then after about 10 minutes, completely shuts down. It's poopy. Oh, and my battery went out. The only time my stinking computer will work is when it's plugged in.  I guess I'll have to take it to Apple whenever I get to come home for leave and have them fix it and buy a new battery. 

I've also been doing something pretty neat for Daniel's birthday, but every time I try to order it, it takes forever to load. Thanks for crappy internet, Afghanistan. His birthday is in 4 days!

Anyway, I have compiled a list of things that I can ALWAYS use in Afghanistan. I've had numerous people ask what I would like/need and I can never think of them when they ask. So if you feel the tug on your heart to send me fun stuff, here's a list!

• Toiletries 
• Febreeze 
• Shampoo & Conditioner
• Body wash
• Face cleanser
• Sun screen
• Baby wipes
• Baby powder 
• Brown hair ties, bobby pins, etc.
• Hair gel
• Hair spray
• Toothpaste
• Deodorant
• Chapstick
• Lotion
• Q-Tips

• Food
• Hard Candy/ Gum
• Beef Jerky/Slim Jims
• Coffee
• Powder Drink Mix
• Wheat Thins
• Granola Bars/ Breakfast bars
• Fruit roll-ups/Fruit by the food/Fruit snacks
• Microwave foods 
• Rice Krispie Treats
• Oatmeal
• Small, individual boxed cereal
• Other Misc.
• Bridal magazines (I'm still trying to plan, lol)
• Glue sticks, tape
• White ankle or calf length socks
• Air fresheners/dryer sheets
• Puzzle books
• Books
• Black pens/Sharpie's
• Twin sheets
• Yoga Mat (to workout in my room)
• Cards/Letters

I can't put my shipping address on my blog, so if there's something you'd like to send, email me at lauraloulyles@yahoo.com or send me a message on facebook and I would be more than happy to send you my address.

Through another day,

Miss you all, 

Laura

Here it goes...

Okay, so setting up a blog is time consuming. I had no idea. It probably doesn't help that the internet quality in Afghanistan isn't great. I promise at some point soon I will get an about me, picture, blah blah blah... Just not right now. I should have been asleep hours ago.

The painful and beautiful comes from a quote I heard once that I really try to remember as I go through my days, "Sometimes you have to wake up, look around, and really make yourself see reality for what it is. It's painful and beautiful all at once. Once you accept that, maybe life will start to make sense." Things that we go through (especially here) are mostly painful, but there is beauty behind it, you just have to look for it.

Anyway, I guess for right now the purpose of this blog is to keep up with friends and family back home while I'm deployed. It will also serve as some documentation (for my sake) of a crazy year. I'll probably rant and rave about other things too. I guess all I can say is, I hope you like it!

To family and friends back home, I miss you all terribly.

Getting through the days,

Love you all,

Laura